He doesn't want to take time off work to deal with the children, he doesn't want to put them to bed, he doesn't want to babysit on the one night out his wife wants with her friends, he doesn't want to cook, do any shopping, take her out for the evening, in fact he doesn't want to do anything he doesn't want to. And in common with a lot of husbands and fathers he doesn't want to do much. The agreement between the husband and wife is that he is the major earner and she works part-time and does all the child care, housework, and anything else that he doesn't want to. But it goes two layers deep, and it made me very sad. On the surface, this is a humorous look at a middle-class, middle-aged couples marriage with an appalling new-age leech of a sister-in-law and a pretentious mother-in-law. Until she remembers the gem of an idea she’s had… Instead, she clutches a large glass of wine, muttering ‘FML’ over and over again. She is staring down the barrel of a future of people asking if she wants to come to their advanced yoga classes, and polite book clubs where everyone claims to be tiddly after a glass of Pinot Grigio and says things like ‘Oooh gosh, are you having another glass?’īut Mummy does not want to go quietly into that good night of women with sensible haircuts who ‘live for their children’ and stand in the playground trying to trump each other with their offspring’s extracurricular activities and achievements, and boasting about their latest holidays.
Unfortunately I have not yet actually managed to buy the bento boxes for their lunches or book jiu jitsu lessons, and I will have to learn to like green tea, as it is foul, and I have not yet mastered French plaits, but I am quietly confident that these are mere details in my grand master plan… And I most certainly will not slump on the sofa at the end of the day, glugging wine and muttering ‘FML’ repeatedly.
Yes, this year is definitely going to be much better – I am absolutely not going to shout at the children, let them stuff their faces with crisps or goggle away on the iPad. I am going to 100% nail being a school mummy this year.
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